Moonshine Experiment #463 (A Non-Hetalia Request)

It was a lazy autumn afternoon. The heat was tolerable, for at noon the sun had burned away the insufferable layer of humidity that typically clung to the bayou where a rather eccentric woman and her swamp pig companion resided. In spite of the beauty the late day offered, the woman -- known simply as June -- chose to bide her time in her basement, merrily humming a tune she had become acquainted with when a bard had wandered toward her establishment long ago while smoking a cigarette through her cigarette holder, a family heirloom that used to belong to her mother, and stirring a rather large pot that was bubbling and filled to the brim with a strange liquid. Oddities were haphazardly scattered throughout the room, though the more dangerous or valuable were stashed in areas that were more difficult to be reached. 

I wonder what today's potions shall yield, thought she as she withdrew an old journal with yellowing pages, a quill, and a pot of ink from inside of one of the many cabinets that lined the shelfs beside her enormous cauldron. Opening to a new page, she jotted down the date, and titled the page 'Moonshine Experiment #463.' She then began to evenly disperse numbers along the page until she reached 3.

Batch 1
[] Success
[X] Failure

June took a wine bottle from another one of her cabinets and placed it under the spout that stuck out of her cauldron's side. With the pull of a lever, the stopper that prevented liquid from spilling out of its container was removed, and the cauldron's contents were poured into the bottle. Once the moonshine reached the neck, she released the lever and placed a cork on the bottle. In a flash of green scales and bright pink hair, the reptile-resembling healer hurried out of her basement in pursuit of her pet swamp pig, Hoggis, who she quickly found in his normal place, lazily sprawled out on her front porch, snoring softly. Reaching into one of the many odd pockets that lined her tribal-resembling garbs, June pulled out a rope and wound it around the sleeping pig's neck. She then tied him to the support beam of her home, prohibiting escape. 

The pig came to his senses once she gave him a quick flick on the snout. With an indignant snort, it stood up and attempted to look aggressive, though it was quite difficult to take it seriously. 

"I've only made enough fer 3 bottles t'day, and then ya ain't gonna have ta worry about me again fer another week!" June promised with a heavy southern drawl, as if saying that would rectify the pig's situation. After all, he was forced to go through with this 52 times a year or more.

The pig glared at her irritably, but then visibly relaxed, knowing that any resistance was futile with a leash tied around his neck. Smling to herself, she released the cork of the bottle and poured it into Hoggis's mouth. At first, nothing happened. Then, however, something rather unfortunate did quite happen.

The pig's mouth was soon engulfed in flame, and eventually its entire body. 

Hoggis himself was unharmed; the spell had given him the ability to light himself on fire without harming himself. However, June's front porch wasn't necessarily alright.

Quickly, June grabbed a bucket and ran toward her bayou. She filled it with water and threw it toward the pig and her porch. The porch and the pig both survived the plight, but not without the pig's leash getting burnt to crisps and a large block of charcoal being left on the ground. The moonshine quickly lost its effect on Hoggis, and he returned to a normal, non-phoenix-resembling pig who, with a loud squealing noise, ran away from the porch and attempted to hide in the bayou.

Unfortunately for Hoggis, however, he was not a rather fast or strong pig, and June was able to scoop him up and tie him down once more. She then returned to her cauldron with the leftovers from her previous experiment, placed the bottle into a container marked 'Dangerous, Crazy Self-Defense Batches,' added a few things to the mixture, picked up her cigarette holder, stood in silence, smoking and stirring her pot for a while, and then repeated the process of emptying the cauldron of another batch of "moonshine."

Batch 2
[X] Success
[X] Failure

Hoggis was much more resistant to June's attempts to get him to down another potion after the aftermath of the last occurrence settled in. The pig squealed, bucking and squirming away from the witch doctor's grasp whenever she tried to get ahold of him to have him drink her most recent concoction. 

"Fine, ya stubborn brute!" The woman hollered angrily, her accent becoming thicker as she raised her voice. "If this potion fails like the last time, ya can have off for the day!" 

Hoggis instantly stopped what he was doing and looked up at her expectantly, waiting to drink the potion. Sighing and muttering a few rather rude words under her breath, June uncorked her next bottle and poured a few drops into the pig's waiting maw. Almost instantaneously, the pig's skin color began to change. At first it was bright yellow, and then it faded to a soft blue. The strange display of eye-igniting colors went on for about an hour. June grinned maliciously, her jagged, unkempt teeth glistening, realizing just what she could do with a spell like that.

"A'ight, Hoggis." June told her pig. "You can 'ave yer nap now! Ya deserve it!"

The witch doctor returned to her oddly-furnished home, jotted down some special notes, and then used the remnants of what was supposed to be her next batch to replicate more of her most recently created magical moonshine. She picked up her two bottles and placed each one in a cabinet marked 'Things Requiring Immediate Attention.'